sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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