Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
