Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize