You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
