I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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