Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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