Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
