The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
