I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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