I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
