I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize