She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
