her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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