those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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