You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
