I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
