You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just cropdusted the office
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
