idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
