I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize