she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
