just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
