Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
