I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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