I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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