yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
