are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
