I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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