i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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