kristin has been a bad kristin
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
