I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I currently don't understand fingers.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
