what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
