this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
