how can u be prego again
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
