Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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