we have pet lesbian snakes
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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