I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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