good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
