I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
