This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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