so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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