that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
