My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
