you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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