it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
