ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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