frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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