thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
