Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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