I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
