I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
