he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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