Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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