Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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