I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my being single is dangerous.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
