We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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