I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Randomize
