It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
