Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
