my phone needs a breathalizer
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
