yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
