if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize