I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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