Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
