dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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