Need sex. Gaining weight.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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