Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize