Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
