I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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