Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Found your dick twin last night
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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