Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
