I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize