i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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