the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
