you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
