Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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